'Red One' Is Dreaming of a Militarized Christmas
You better watch out.
Dwayne Johnson never served in the military, but he looks like a guy (or at least Hollywood’s version of a guy) who did. He’s either played soldiers or guys with a military background, and he knows how to sell the honorable stoicism we’d like to imagine of our servicemembers coupled with Hollywood bravado. You may recall that when the U.S. killed Osama Bin Laden, Johnson was one of the first to tweet about it before the news had even been officially confirmed. He likes identifying with this world.
So it should come as no surprise that he chose to star in and produce Red One, a Christmas movie that goes hard on the idea of a militarized holiday. In the film, Johnson plays Callum Drift, the bodyguard for Santa Claus (an absolutely jacked J.K. Simmons) and commander of the E.L.F. (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification). When Santa gets kidnapped, Cal must call in Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), a degenerate gambler who also happens to be the best tracker in the world. The pair go on a globe-trotting adventure to save Santa and Christmas.
One of the most tedious “arguments” against Christmas is how Santa can deliver all the presents in one night. I’ve always found this line of questioning confusing because you’re accepting the premise that there’s a man in a red suit who lives at the North Pole, and he has made it his mission to deliver presents to children around the world. Where you got hung up was…logistics? Also, the answer is magic. We left science and the physical world behind, so we’ve got magic. The end.
There is some room to play with the idea of the logistics, but Red One, rather than ever having fun, answers that the only way to achieve massive worldwide deeds is through militaristic force. This doesn’t necessarily mean killing people (although the “enforcement” kind of lingers there, especially when you wonder why Callum needs to be so physically imposing), but we still have the command structure, alphabet soup of departments, and advanced technology associated with military might. Red One never questions and, in fact, fully embraces this aesthetic for the holiday. There’s a brief nod at people finding their inner child or the ability to become nicer people, but more attention is paid to devices that can alter reality, so a Hot Wheels becomes a drivable car.
If it weren’t enough for Christmas to be a mission that works like a military operation, it’s wrapped in a larger idea of M.O.R.A (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority), which handles all the mythical creatures in the world. This framework means that Callum’s department is like the Army for Santa, and there’s also a Department of Defense, which is run by Lucy Liu’s character. Setting aside the ickiness of “There’s a huge military-industrial complex that no one knows about, but it’s okay because they bring you presents,” the aesthetic here seems caught between worldbuilding and a joke. There’s supposed to be a comical juxtaposition at work here—whimsical Christmas meets stern militarism—but director Jake Kasdan and screenwriter Chris Morgan left out the whimsy. The movie is largely shot in drab colors coupled with unimpressive VFX. Its best feature is the special effects makeup on Krampus (Kristofer Hivju), and that’s a minor element of a movie that thinks “fun” is getting into a slap fight that Dwayne Johnson must ultimately win.
This kind of domination feels at odds with the giving spirit of the holiday. What Callum and Red One represent is not serving at a soup kitchen or donating toys to needy kids but an order of domination and reward. Those who would oppose Santa must be punished, and rather than questioning the Naughty/Nice list that Santa uses, the movie only argues that the villain, Grýla (Kiernan Shipka), is too unforgiving in her assessment. While this is meant to show how Grýla is a progression of Callum’s disillusionment with mankind, the movie ultimately agrees with the notion that there are keepers of children’s morality, and the only dispute is over matters of degree. Since the military aesthetic dominates Red One, everything must serve that ideal rather than question its nature.
Watching Red One, I kept flashing back to the far superior 2011 Aardman Animation movie Arthur Christmas. That movie also presents a hyper-militarized Christmas operation, but in that movie, the military is the joke. Its commander, Santa’s son Steve (Hugh Laurie), wears a camo uniform with a design based on Christmas trees. His perfectly shaped goatee is also a Christmas tree. Steve relishes the efficiency of the machine he’s created but is largely unconcerned when a child has been missed. The fact that one child might not get a present is what motivates his brother Arthur (James McAvoy) to venture out into the world so that this one child gets a gift and doesn’t stop believing in Santa. Everything that’s militaristic in Arthur Christmas exists to be playfully mocked, and what gets celebrated is the goofy and the heartfelt.
There’s no room for emotions in Red One because it’s a celebration not of Christmas but of logistics. It’s fine to value those things if you see the holiday as nothing more than a robust package delivery operation, but logistics don’t have room for emotions. Emotions get in the way, and magic isn’t really good enough. Callum and Jack are on a mission to “save Christmas,” but the Christmas they’re saving isn’t one of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men. It’s one of world domination.